During an archaeological dig of a plot of land in 1972, a massive and incredibly well-preserved turd was discovered. Coming in at a whopping 8 inches long, and 2 inches wide, it was dubbed the largest, oldest human fecal sample in existence.
After running some very scientific tests on the turd, it was revealed that it had survived more than a thousand years, perfectly intact on the plot of land it was discovered upon. Further examination revealed it belonged to a Viking who had a poor diet, predominantly made of meat and bread-based and described as 'moist and peaty'.
The sample was covered in hundreds of parasitic eggs suggesting that the creator of the poo likely had intestinal worms. Gill Snape, a student conservator on a placement with the York Archaeological Trust, was quoted as saying:
“Analysis of the stool has indicated that its producer subsisted largely on meat and bread. It dates back to approximately the 9th century and the person responsible is believed to be a Viking. Whoever passed it probably hadn't performed for a few days, shall we say. This guy had very itchy bowels."
Well there's a first for everything and dropping a historical record-worthy deuce isn't something everyone would be proud of.
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